


Won't Break

by AetherAria



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: (Very mild), Communication, Declarations Of Love, Established Relationship, Lizard Kissin' Tuesday (Penumbra Podcast), Miscommunication, Multi, Second Citadel (Penumbra Podcast), canon typical Arum ignoring feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:33:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24375097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AetherAria/pseuds/AetherAria
Summary: It is far too soon for such words, isn't it?
Relationships: Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla (Penumbra Podcast)
Comments: 47
Kudos: 143





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> sometimes an idea just fucken runs with me, idk. I love arum but he's such a dip sometimes. he looks at vulnerability and HISSES, the asshole.

Arum's cape billows, flaring nearly as high as his frill as he bursts into the room, already growling low and muttering under his breath as his tail thrashes behind him.

Rilla blinks, and then she tucks her recorder back into the pockets of her skirt.

"Okay," she says, and Arum startles as if he hadn't noticed her in the room. "What's up?"

"Amaryllis," he says sharply, and then he blinks, and his growl pitches deeper, and then he turns and continues his quick stride, pacing in a narrow oval.

"Arum."

"Nothing of import," Arum mutters, just above the level of his earlier grumbling. "Nothing at _all_."

"Yeah," Rilla says. "Because you'd totally be _this_ upset about _nothing_ , Arum." She rolls up to stand, folding her arms over her chest and raising an eyebrow. "C'mon. What's wrong?"

Arum snarls a little louder, mutters something Rilla can't hear, then spins on his heel to repeat his little lap.

Rilla watches, suppressing an urge to either roll her eyes or actually start to worry. "If you want me to leave you alone I will, Arum, but if you're upset I'd rather try to help, y'know? That's kind of part of this whole _trying this_ thing. I- I care about you. If I can help-"

Arum's pace falters, and his frill sinks slightly as his eyes dart towards her.

"Ha," he says, more a noise of surprise than a laugh. He swallows, his hands clenching on empty air. "That- now _that_ I can _believe_. Clear words. _Honest_ words. Not some nonsense declarative, some sweeping poetic falsity, all saccharine and cloying and-"

He's pacing again, his mouth twisting down into something like anger.

"So… you're upset with Damien," Rilla says. It's a near certainty of a guess, and when Arum scoffs, his pace quickening, she knows that she's right.

"Absurd. _Absurd_ , he- he cannot attempt to ply me with pleasant nonsense and expect me to simply _believe_ -"

"What exactly did he say to you, Arum?"

" _Ridiculous_ , he cannot- after so little time and so much conflict, he could not possibly-"

" _Arum_." Rilla reaches out, grabs Arum's wrist, pulls his pacing to a stop. "What did he say?"

Arum snaps his teeth, looking decidedly away, his frill rising again. After a moment the ticking rattle in his chest grows louder, and Rilla realizes that he's not going to answer.

"C'mon," she says gently, and she lifts her other hand to cup his cheek. He startles, his breath escaping in something like a gasp, and he clenches his teeth but he doesn't pull away. Actually, he leans into her hand after a breath, wincing, and she lets go of his wrist so she can cup his face in both palms. "Arum, it couldn't have been _that bad_. I know Damien talks so much that sometimes he forgets to think before he speaks, but- what did he say that was so horrible?"

"It wasn't-" Arum cuts himself off, cringing again. "It- he- it was not that it was- he did not say something _horrible_."

"Then…" Rilla raises an eyebrow, gently brushing her thumbs up and down his cheeks. "Then what's the problem?"

"The _problem_ ," Arum hisses, "is that what he said could not possibly be _true_."

Rilla's brow furrows, now, and she keeps stroking his cheeks, trying to keep him steady. "Damien isn't exactly in the habit of lying," she says, a gentle sort of nudge. "And he's pretty awful at it when he tries. Are you sure?"

Arum snaps his teeth together without words for a moment, glancing away. "I- well- he must be _mistaken_ , then. Careless words. He cannot _mean_ it. He cannot."

"He can't mean _what_ , Arum? This isn't going to go anywhere if you're too afraid to tell me what he said."

Arum pulls his head back automatically, hissing again. " _Afraid_ \- I am not _afraid_ , Amaryllis, don't-"

"Arum. What did he say?"

"That he _loves_ me, Amaryllis," Arum spits, and then he cringes again, folding two arms over his stomach, the other two reaching to pull his cape forward, hiding more of himself in the thick fabric. "I- I cannot- he cannot possibly mean such things so soon, and I cannot abide _empty_ assurances, platitudes for the sake of flattering my ego or- or whyever else-"

"O-oh," Rilla says. She swallows, pulling her hands back and clasping them in front of her chest. "Oh."

"He cannot mean it," Arum mutters again, teeth bared.

"No," Rilla says quietly, and Arum's expression crumples, his mouth curling down miserably for only a moment before his brow furrows into something angry.

"Of _course_ -"

"No," she repeats, shaking her head. "No, Arum, he meant it. He _means_ it."

For half a heartbeat Arum looks- _terrified_ , and then he scowls again. "No. _No_. He can't-"

"He does." Rilla reaches out again, and Arum frowns but he doesn't push her away, doesn't try to step back. She slips her arms around him, holding him in a loose embrace as he stiffly stands, his own arms stubbornly at his sides. "Arum. I- I've been holding off on saying anything because I didn't want to make you uncomfortable, or- I didn't want to say it if we weren't on the same page but-" she smiles wryly as Arum stares at her, violet eyes flicking quickly between her own. "But Damien is terrible at holding things in when he feels them. He's gotta speak his heart and all that."

"What- what do you-"

"Are you upset because you don't feel that way?" she asks, trying her level best to keep her voice neutral, and Arum tenses even more.

"Of course not, of course I lo-"

Arum's teeth snap together audibly, and when Rilla looks up at him he closes his eyes.

Rilla stares at him, at the shine of his scales, the curve of his horns, the fear and desire in the twisting of his expression, and-

She _knew_ it.

Or. She had been hoping really, really hard, at least.

She slips her hands more securely around him and goes up on her toes. She presses her lips to the scales of his cheek, smiling against him when he makes a quiet whirring noise at the contact.

"Amaryllis," he hisses as he blinks his eyes back open.

"I love you," she says as she sinks back to her feet. "And I'm not saying that _because_ Damien did. I'm saying it because you're absolutely ridiculous and stubborn and I don't even think you _notice_ the way your frill twitches when you're nervous and I've been biting it down for _weeks_ because you're so damn skittish about actually talking about feelings but _Saints_ , Arum. How could I _not_ love you? How could _he_ not? Arum-" she laughs. "I figured I was falling for you before I left the Keep the _first_ time and that was after I got to spend all that time together with you- are you _really_ surprised that Sir Damien the Headfirst would be on the same page? Arum, you're _incredible_ , and I know you _know_ it because you're an enormous braggart, which I really shouldn't find as fucking _charming_ as I do, I love you so-"

Arum presses his mouth to hers. When she gasps and kisses back with a noticeable edge of teeth he gives a soft little whine against her lips, and then his arms finally tighten around her and he _lifts_ , scooping her legs out from under her and holding her to his chest.

"Amaryllis," he hisses against her lips, panting.

"So damn much, you giant stubborn _ass_ , I-"

"I love you too," he says. His voice is _shaking_ , and Rilla laughs with something like relief.

She presses her lips together tight, closing her eyes, pressing her forehead against his own as she lifts a hand to press to his cheek. "You believe _me_ , then?"

Arum breathes a weak laugh of his own. "Y-yes."

"You love Damien too?"

"Of course I do, Amaryllis, don't be absurd."

"Well, Arum, if you love _him_ ," she says, exasperated and fond, "why is it so hard for you to believe that he loves you too?"

"I…" he pauses. "Well-" he stops again. "It-"

"You are," Rilla kisses him again, " _ridiculous_."

"I don't- I haven't- it only seems… I couldn't believe, and- and I- if it were a _lie_ , I knew I would only- only make a fool of myself if I revealed- if I said-"

"If you were _honest_ , you mean?"

He growls, and with the way he's holding her, with the way she's caught up in his arms, she can feel it rumbling through her own ribcage.

"… perhaps."

She laughs again, letting her cheek rest against his neck as she shakes in his arms.

He pauses for a long moment, his growling drifting down to a low purr at the back of his throat as he holds her.

"… I…" he hesitates, his voice low and warm. "I knew I felt too much for you before you left the Keep as well. I knew I loved you when I let you go."

"Can't _believe_ you waited this long to say anything," she grumbles, and when he gives a wry laugh she squeezes her arms around him, pressing her lips against his neck. "Can't believe _Damien_ waited this long, honestly-"

Arum winces; she feels the way he goes tense. Rilla pauses. She blinks.

"Wait. So- Damien told you… hang on." She leans back in his arms, brow furrowed as she tries to force the lizard to meet her eyes. "So you just. So he told you he loved you, and then after that, you did… what, exactly?"

"I…" Arum flicks his eyes stubbornly away, frill flared in clear panic. "Left."

"You _left_ ," Rilla repeats, blank. "Did you … _say_ anything? Did you _respond_?"

"Nnnnn."

" _Arum_."

"No. No, I- I was _surprised_. And I- I thought he was _lying_ , or- that he must be- be- exaggerating, at the- the least. I was- I _panicked_ and. And I- left."

"You _bolted_ ," she clarifies.

Arum ducks his head, teeth bared in a grimace, and then he nods.

"Alright. Okay. Let me down." She shifts in his arms, and he keeps his head ducked as he gently sets her back on her feet. "C'mon," she says, grabbing his hand before he can curl in on himself too much. "Let's go fix this."

"Fix-" he drags his feet, but he follows as Rilla leads him back the way he came. "Amaryllis, he must be-" he breaks into an unhappy, wordless trill. "I have failed _spectacularly_. He tried to- to tell me- to _share_ this with me and I smacked it from his hands and _ran_ , like a coward, like a-"

"You're not helping," Rilla says calmly, and then she squeezes his hand. "Look. You messed up. Let's go make it better, yeah?"

" _Better_ ," he hisses. "He will not want to _see_ me. We will be lucky to find him _here_ still, lucky if he has not already-"

" _Arum_ ," she says, breaking his name into two distinct, sharp syllables as she skids to a stop again, and he blinks, refocusing on her. "You freaked out, and you probably hurt his feelings, but _one mistake_ isn't going to break us, okay?"

His eyes flick between her own, searching. "I… I must trust your word on that," he says eventually, quietly. "I don't… I have very little…" he frowns, "very little practice, in this. In- in _relationships_. This particular mistake feels… rather large."

Rilla feels her heart do a little kick at the worry twisting her monster's face. She pulls his hand up, holding it in both of her own and pressing it against her chest, and he meets her eyes again. "I know you're new at this, Arum," she says gently, "and I know that Damien and I have been together for a long time, comparatively. But- this is new territory for all of us. We're _all_ gonna wind up making mistakes, here and there. We just-" she pauses, and smiles in a way that feels a little crooked. "I want this to work. I love both of you, and I want to be with you. So, when we mess up - and we're _going_ to mess up - we've gotta make sure we fix it, and try not to trip into the same mistakes again. Does that make sense?"

"I… yes. I suppose. I suppose that does indeed make… sense." Arum stares at her, tilting his head. "… is there _any_ arena in which you do not excel, Amaryllis?"

Rilla barks a laugh. "Oh, I do _not_ excel in this," she says, shaking her head. "I _really_ don't. I'm impatient and independent and kinda petty, actually. But-" she bites her lip, and then she goes up on her toes again, rising just enough to press a kiss to the scales of Arum's cheek. "But I love you, and I love Damien, and it's really important to me to put in the effort to make sure we're okay. Okay?"

"… Okay," Arum echoes, the casual word sitting oddly on his inhuman tongue. "I suppose that makes sense as well."

She smiles, gentle, and Arum pulls her hand up towards his mouth, and when he brushes his lips over her knuckles Rilla can't help the way her cheeks go hot, or the little laugh that escapes her lips. "Arum-"

"Thank you, Amaryllis." He keeps hold of her hand as he lowers it again. He inhales, and when he exhales his frill settles at his neck. "One mistake will not break us," he says quietly, fierceness furrowing his brow.

"It won't," Rilla agrees.

"Will you-" he pauses. "Will you come with me?" he asks, and the smile that curves his mouth is wry. "I know what I must do, the apology I owe, but- I would rather have you by my side as well."

"Of course I will," she says, squeezing his hand.

"Thank you," he says again, and then he stands straighter, his posture regal in the gentle filtered light of the Keep. "Now. Let us find Sir Damien. It is long past time I speak my heart."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello, i love you ;3 also no guarantees but y'know, there's a possibility of a follow up for this one, if i get the bug. Poor Damien wasn't even IN this, technically :c


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A shift in perspective.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An author I loved deeply when I was younger once described a fic as a "stepladder" fic, and I realized halfway through this particular chapter that I had cribbed a very little bit of that structure for this. :D i love it. anyway. please enjoy, I am vibing.

There is no door, to slam behind Lord Arum as he makes his escape. He is simply there, furiously scrabbling across the wall, ticking as he goes, and then the monster is gone, slipped through some near-invisible crack in the woven-vine structure of his home.

And Sir Damien is alone.

He inhales, and then he presses his lips together, presses a hand over his mouth, and tries to hold back the ocean in his lungs.

 _Foolish little honeysuckle_ , the mocking voice in his head croons. _Did you truly think_ -

He shakes his head.

"Too soon," Damien murmurs through his fingers. "It is only- I knew- I _knew_ it was too soon-"

He turns, stumbling a step or two so he can lean on one of the thick-trunked support vines.

Too _soon_. Always, Damien thinks, _always_ his heart races away, sprinting past his own sorry position, bolting beyond the feelings of those around him, _always_ he feels too much too fast and then-

Arum's violet eyes, confused, wide and terrified, stunned, suspicious, _furious_ , and then gone.

"I…" Damien stands a little straighter, forcing his weak legs to hold him steady, and then he turns towards the door. "I should apologize. Certainly I should- but," he pauses halfway across the room. "No. No, I cannot do _that_ , can I? Cannot say- say what? _I am sorry I said I love you_? I cannot say _that_! Sorry? Sorry that I love him? No-" he turns again on his heel, slashing a hand through the air as he strides quickly to the other side of the room. "I could never be, _never_ , and I cannot apologize for- for what? For speaking my heart? For saying the _truth_? But… but…" his footsteps slow, his voice trailing off.

The Keep creaks quietly around him, the low song of the swamp drifting in through the windows, and Damien knows himself a fool.

"But he does not feel the same. His truth- Lord Arum's truth does not match my own. His heart does not… _my_ heart, my heart, my heart has… has stumbled again, has raced too fast and tripped and tumbled down the hill to bruise itself in the rock-strewn valley below and-"

He sucks in a breath, holds it, and the corners of his eyes feel too hot.

"He does not feel the same," Damien repeats, and then he gives a mournful little laugh. "Of course not. Utterly impossible for anyone to keep pace with the rush of your heart, Damien. He may _care_ for you, may want to touch you, may wish to _try this_ but how else did you expect him to react? Fool, you _fool_ …"

He realizes belatedly that he has paced another circle around the room, that he has made no progress, has recovered nothing from this fumble of an encounter. Not his dignity, not his heart.

"Fool," he murmurs again, and then he startles as a vine touches his arm, one of the drifting not-quite-hands of the Keep reaching out to tap against his skin very lightly. "Ah-"

The Keep sings around him, and it sounds very gentle though Damien, of course, cannot understand.

"Er- I am- I apologize, Keep, I- I did not mean to upset him. I hope I have not-"

The structure sings again, the vine curling lightly around his wrist. Damien has seen the Keep reach like this, in the past, but only for Arum himself. Only when the monster is upset.

"I… I should not be here. Not… not now. I have overstepped, have pressed past where our relationship truly lives in my haste, and- and I should give him time, I should give him _space_ in which to breathe without my rushing and smothering and-"

The Keep squeezes his wrist, pulls him gently towards the door, towards the rooms more deep in the interior of its structure.

Damien shakes his head, his chest squeezing in panic, and as gently as the Keep is pulling him, he pulls back, carefully slipping his wrist away from that grip. "N-no, no, I'm terribly sorry but I can rather safely assure you that he does _not_ wish to see me. He-" Damien laughs in a strangled sort of way. "I will be quite lucky if he wishes to see me again for- for a _while_ , I should think, he seemed- _furious_ with me, in fact. In fact, I should- I should-"

The Keep does not try to pull him again, but it hums a soothing gradient of sound, even more songlike than its usual form of communication, and it drops another vine so it can very lightly touch the backs of both of his hands.

"I'm sorry," Damien says again, quietly. "I'm sorry I have- I have made my own burning feelings a burden for him. I should have known better. I should not linger here, I think." He pauses, swallows, and then he attempts a weak sort of smile. "Thank you for- for comforting me? If that _was_ your intent. I could be mistaken, surely, and I would not like to assume, but- regardless of intent, I find myself… comforted. To what degree I find I can be, just at the moment." He shakes his head. "But- of course, I should not linger. Please, Keep, I… a way back to- to Rilla's hut, please. If- if you would." Damien swallows roughly, pressing his lips together tight.

The Keep- _pauses_. Damien is unsure how he knows that this is what the structure is doing; there is no change in the momentary lack of song, but he knows nonetheless. Perhaps there is a new layer of stillness to the vines brushing his hands, he cannot say for sure. It sings again, after a moment, and Damien knows the hesitance its song voices.

"Please," he says again. "I know… I know perfectly well when I am not wanted."

Another moment of pause, and then with _clear_ reluctance the Keep pulls a doorway from the ground, and Rilla's hut is visible through the threshold, familiar and safe, and Damien's heart lurches with love and pain and-

And the Keep grips both of his hands, squeezes very, very gently, and croons a low song.

Quiet, pleading, persuasive. No words, but-

Damien understands, regardless.

The Keep opened the way for him. It will not _stop_ him, it will allow him to leave if he chooses to do so.

But it is _asking_ him to stay.

Damien hesitates, and then he squeezes the Keep's vines in return.

"But… he cannot wish to see me, can he? He was- _so_ angry, when he left…"

The Keep lilts gentle, gentle, and it sways the vines holding his hands, something distinctly parental in the motion, and Damien buries a laugh.

"You are certain I should stay?" he asks, and then he feels foolish because of _course_ he will not know what the response is, not truly.

Or- he assumed that he would not. It squeezes his hands again, sings a quick bright pair of notes, and the intent is so clear that Damien cannot deny it.

Damien is still uncertain, his heart still thrumming with hurt, with the sting of misplaced vulnerability, and he wants to run or hide or _weep_ , but- but this creature has become something safe, to him, and he trusts it, and- and Damien hears Rilla in his mind whisper _breathe, Damien. Breathe, and think_.

He exhales, too shaky, and he _tries_.

"He… I know he… he cares for me. He _does_. He _must_. If I spoke too soon- I must have frightened him, that is all. It is not evidence of some- some secret disdain." Damien pauses, laughs weakly. "My lily would not keep _any_ disdain a secret, certainly."

The Keep gives a trill so wry that Damien laughs again.

"So. I frightened him. He-"

Arum's violet eyes. Confused, terrified, _suspicious_.

Suspicious? Of-

"Of what?" Damien murmurs to himself. "Why suspicion, of all… if he feels not for me as I do for him, why should that garner suspicion, rather than- _derision_? Humor, even, at my foolishness-"

The Keep murmurs something, vaguely encouraging, Damien thinks, and then Damien feels that pause again, that sense of thought, and then it sings a triplet and squeezes his hands one more time before it releases him, and grows another doorway opposite from the way to Rilla's hut.

Damien tries his best not to flinch, when he sees both of his lovers in the threshold.

Rilla enters first, her lip curled wryly up, and trailing behind her and clinging to her hand is their mutual monster, his face pinched in worry and discomfort.

His eyes flick to Damien, wide and full of something like fear, and then Arum sees the doorway back to the hut, still hanging open, and his face falls even further.

"I told you," he says in a distressed, half-whispered hiss, close by Rilla's ear. "I _told_ you he would want to leave-"

"But he's still here," Rilla says calmly, not bothering to lower her own voice. "Go on, then."

Damien hesitates, lifting a hand awkwardly to press over his heart, and Rilla gives an encouraging smile before she lifts her own hand and- _shoves_ Arum ahead of her.

The monster stumbles and hisses, glancing back towards Rilla with alarm for a half moment before his frill flutters and he stands straighter on his own. He squares his shoulders, discomfort rolling off of him in waves as he looks down at Damien, and Damien endeavors not to feel pinned by the intensity of his gaze.

"Ah, Lord Arum?" Damien greets, his tone tight and uncertain, and the monster swallows roughly, glances back towards Rilla one more time, and then takes a rather deep breath.

"I owe you," Arum says slowly, "a rather enormous apology."

"Wh-what?"

"You were being… only honest, when you spoke to me," he says, and then he ducks his head very slightly, his voice lowering further. "You… you were, weren't you? You _meant_ it. It was not merely-"

Rilla makes a quiet noise behind the monster, an unsubtle cough into her hand, and Arum winces and shakes his head as Damien stares.

"You _meant_ it," Arum says again, "and it was nothing less than cruel and cowardly for me to flee from you in such a moment. I… I know how important it is, to you, to speak your heart, honeysuckle. I was- with no evidence, I assumed a lie. I assumed- I was _afraid_ that you were… that you did not truly mean it. If you said- _that_ , to me, and you did not truly feel…"

Even now, even struggling through the confusion of what Arum is so clumsily trying to say, Damien's heart pulses _wildly_ with affection, with the urge to reach out and hold this ridiculous, regal creature. He presses his hand down over his heart, trying to quell its racing.

"I apologize," Arum says softly, and then he shakes his head. "I'm _sorry_. You deserve… you deserve better than to have the gift of your words cast away. You gave me something more precious than I can say, and I- I hope I have not utterly destroyed it in my fear."

"F-fear?" Damien echoes, and Arum's lip curls into a self-deprecating smile.

"As Amaryllis will not stop pointing out," he grumbles, and then he shakes his head again. "I was- _afraid_ that you had seen- that you knew my _own_ feelings and- and were merely attempting to… to placate me, to humor me. Which is- which sounds-"

"Fucking stupid, when you actually say it out loud?" Rilla drawls behind him, and Arum grits his teeth with a hiss.

"Yes," he says, and the hiss carries through the word. "Obviously. _Now_."

"To humor you," Damien murmurs, and the implication in that statement, of course, is that _Arum_ feels-

Well. Damien supposes that would explain the suspicion, would it not?

"Yes," Arum says again, a touch weakly. "Which is no excuse. I have treated you cruelly, honeysuckle, and I- I know that I may have- have hurt you to the point where you may wish to- to _rescind_ your words, perhaps, and I could not blame you." His mouth curls down, clearly miserable, and Damien's heart pounds even harder. "I could not blame you in the _least_. But- but I hope, perhaps, that you could- that you could forgive me my cowardice. It was not my intent to hurt you." He pauses again, the misery on his face deepening. "I never want to hurt you, not ever again."

"I…" Damien stares at the monster, at the way he has dropped his eyes, shame and dread and pain in the beautiful lines of his frame. "I think… I think I understand," he says slowly, and he hopes that he truly does.

"I will make this up to you," the monster says quickly, fearfully, still not allowing himself to look up. "If- if you allow me."

Damien does not think he has ever seen someone else's heart quite so plainly. Their monster is nearly as incapable of obscuring his feelings as Damien himself is. Damien could laugh- he _wants_ to laugh, he feels lit up with the brightness of it now, the certainty- Arum-

 _Arum_.

Their monster, so passionate, so afraid of his own passion, so afraid to be seen in the softness he hides-

He feels as Damien does, as Rilla does.

Damien pauses for a long moment, wrangling the size of his love into something he can hold within his ribcage again. "So…" he says slowly, and then he licks his lips. "So if I speak my heart again… you do not mean to retreat?"

Arum shakes his head quickly. "No. Of course not, of course not-"

" _Of course not_ does not seem accurate, Arum. You _did_ retreat. My query is not out of the question."

Arum winces, and Damien feels a very slight twinge of guilt for pressing. "Y-yes. I- I apologize, again."

"Hm," Damien says. "And if I _do_ speak my heart, you do not plan to launch yourself to the _wall_ , this time? I need not fear a partially-vertical retreat every time I attempt to express my affection for you?" he says, raising an eyebrow.

Arum frowns, ducks his head, and Damien can tell that he's _trying_ not to look sulky. "I gave my apology," he mumbles, his eyes downcast. "It was- it was not something done out of- of _intent_ to harm, and … oh." He blinks, glancing up at last. "Are- are you- _teasing_ me?"

"In retrospect I will admit that it was something of a sight," Damien says lightly. "Entirely perpendicular to the wall, your cape hanging below you as if you were some bizarre flagpole, tail counterbalancing in a wild, chaotic arc-"

" _Alright_ ," Arum grumbles through his teeth, but he's too visibly relieved for his tone to carry any true frustration. "Alright, honeysuckle. I believe we all know full well the absurdity with which I conducted myself, today." He pauses again, then rolls his eyes. "Not to say that I do not _deserve_ some measure of ridicule-"

"So I may speak my heart to you now, and I need not fear that I will be left lonely and uncertain?"

"Damien," Arum says, quiet, and his hands flex in front of him though he stops himself from reaching. "I… I will not leave. I will not go _anywhere_. I- I demand no words from you, but- if you wish to speak your heart again, I would be- _grateful_ , to hear it."

Embarrassment is a common emotion to see resting on Lord Arum's face and frame. Joining that familiar tension, though, is a meekness, an awkwardness, and almost-shyness that makes Damien feel helpless against the brunt of his own adoration. Rilla, standing behind the monster, looks quite as if she is enduring a similar level of fierceness in her affection.

"Arum," Damien says, the word slipping from him like wind through chimes, and Arum's entire frame softens, his body swaying towards Damien's like a reed in that breeze. "Oh… my lily, oh Arum, I-"

"Wait-" the monster shakes his head quickly. "Wait, no. This isn't right. I- after my own foolishness I have no right to- to ask that you speak _first_ , honeysuckle, I shouldn't-"

"Arum," Damien says again, and he can feel his lip curling in a smile. "It's alright, clearly it wasn't a _demand_ , I-"

"No," Arum insists, and then he steps closer at last and lifts his hands, hesitating for only a breath before he rests two on Damien's shoulders, and cups his cheeks in the other two. "Damien… I don't know if you are aware of how… how _drastically_ you and Amaryllis have changed my life. You make me- _happy_ ," he says, and there is so much surprise in the word that it makes Damien's heart _ache_. "I would not have even listed that as a priority, before the both of you. I … I did not even realize that I _wasn't_ happy."

Damien makes a small pained noise. He cannot help himself, and Arum smiles very slightly and brushes his thumbs over Damien's cheeks.

"My fear is only as large as what I know I have the potential to lose," he says in a murmur. "Affection and humor and brilliance, gentle hands and soft embrace and clever tongue. I may close my eyes with you and know myself _safe_ and- and I wish so _deeply_ to be that for you as well-"

"You are," Damien whispers, and Arum makes a small noise when he sees the tears that Damien can't keep from welling in his eyes. "You _are_."

"I love you, Damien," Arum says. "It seemed a miracle beyond what I could ever deserve to think that you could feel the same. But-" Arum pauses, laughs gently, brushes a tear from Damien's cheek. "But then, I should have known better than to let that fool me, shouldn't I? It certainly isn't the _first_ miracle you have performed for my sake, honeysuckle."

Damien goes up on his toes, pressing his mouth against Arum's in a kiss that feels like nectar, like home, like sweetness and warmth. Arum makes a muffled noise, a warbling purr, and his hands slip back from Damien's shoulders, wrapping around Damien to pull him closer, to hold him safe until they need to breathe again.

"Love you," Damien murmurs against his lips, desperate, and then he kisses Arum again. "Love you, Arum, I love you-"

"I know," Arum says, something like wonder in his voice. "I'm sorry for doubting."

"You absolutely absurd creature," Damien manages in a shaking voice, and then he kisses him _again_.

"Wow," Rilla says, and Damien chokes on a laugh. He glances over to see their flower watching them, grinning with her arms folded over her chest, and Damien laughs again, delight like a cascade of bubbles rising from his lungs. "Damien gets an entire _speech_ and all I get is an _I love you too_ ," she says, her eyes flashing and her tone _dripping_ with playfulness, and Arum growls as Damien clings to him, shaking with laughter.

"You are going to be _insufferably_ smug about all of this, aren't you?" he snarls.

Rilla steps close enough to press a comforting hand to Damien's back, close enough to flick the tip of Arum's snout with her other hand. "Duh," she says. "Considering that I was right about _everything_ , I think I probably deserve it, though."

Arum's growl pitches lower for a moment, and then Rilla yelps a laugh as Arum's tail snakes around her, tugging her close enough that he can pull her into his embrace beside Damien. " _Good_ ," he purrs, nuzzling his snout into her neck and making her laughter jump even higher. "I love that, as well. Love your pride, love your brilliance-"

"Oh no," Rilla says, grinning, "looks like we popped the cork, Damien. He's just gonna be a total _sap_ now, maybe you should defend your position-"

"I love you, Amaryllis," Arum growls against her neck, narrowing his eyes, "but I will still _bite_ you."

"Do you promise?" Rilla says with an even wider grin, and after a half second of pause Arum bursts into his own barking laugh.

Damien clings to Rilla, clings to Arum as he laughs, and he loves so, so much that it feels like it is overflowing from him, pouring out in torrents between his ribs. Rilla makes a small noise, reaches up and brushes away the new tears on Damien's cheeks, and her smile is terribly soft as she leans to press a kiss against his mouth.

"You okay?" she says gently, and Arum's laughter subsides as he catches Damien's eye, as he waits for the answer.

"I am," he manages. "Of _course_ I am. I- I don't think I have ever been happier, my loves."

Arum's frill flutters, his mouth tilting into a wondering, pleased smile, and Rilla kisses him again.

Arum was right. This love, this home they are building in each other-

It does, indeed, feel something like a miracle.


End file.
